LAUGHLAB – FINAL RESULTS // canavarlar

For over a year, huge numbers of people from all over the world have sent
in their favourite jokes and rated how funny they found the jokes
submitted by others.

LaughLab certainly captured the public's imagination – we received over
40,000 jokes and almost 2 million ratings!

1. seçilen şaka
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them
falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled
back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the
emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What
can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I
can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is
heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?"

2. seçilen şaka

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip.  After a good dinner
and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful
friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.
"And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson ponders for a minute.
"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and
potentially billions of planets.  Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in
Leo.  Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past
three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day
tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are
a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you,
Holmes?"
Holmes is silent for a moment.  "Watson, you idiot!" he says.  "Someone
has stolen our tent!"

bu da amerikanın en iyisiymiş

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One
of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral
procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off
his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend
says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever
seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we
were married 35 years.”

ama ben ingilizlerinkisini sevdim

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the
ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the
bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just
insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go
ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”

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